SLAVE TO NATURE


                     SLAVE TO NATURE


She used to be the happiest girl. People even called her Joy. It’s just so sad how such a sweet soul was made the opposite of herself. 

No home, no family, no friends. Nothing to call her own. So many called her names and that she won’t forget easily. She has never being like this before but now she’s full of anger, regrets and pains. She has even forgotten her own name; she thought to herself. She works day and night everyday to get nothing in return. As the sun rises and sets every day, she only prays for death and she awaits it. She my dear is a slave to nature. She tried so many times to take her own life, ‘‘no I can’t make this worse than it is already” she always says to herself.

One morning,  she left to continue her daily struggle of survival. She managed to buy herself bread which will last her the whole day. A cycler bumped into her and the bread fell off her hand and as she bent over to pick what’s left after raining a million curses on him, she saw a book just very close to the piece of bread and then she picked both the book and the bread and walk away. She’s a cook in this grumpy place and in her free time, she read the small book she picked from the floor and she found it interesting, the book became the only friend she has, her only comfort and besides she didn’t have to pay for it. 

                    From the book she learnt to forgive herself and gradually forgave everyone that brought her pain. All night she sat up and sobbed as all the memory flashed back like it was yesterday.


‘‘Take everything that belongs to you and leave my house, you are no longer my daughter, you have brought shame to this entire house hold’’. Dad please I beg you, I don’t even understand. I will never steal anything or bring shame to you. ‘‘Now I don’t even know my faith in my election, leave now’’ he yelled again.

She cried even more as her mother stood there without doing or saying anything. Oh! Mother she called out with tears all over her.  Then to her brother;I love this family Charles and wouldn’t do anything that would hurt this family, she said to her younger brother who manage to give her a picture of just the both of them together on her last birthday.

She recalled calling her friends to help her but they all turned their backs on her. “Everyone hates your guts and pride Kim, no one was really your friend, just yourself.” James, her boyfriend told her before shutting his door to her face.  No one believed her including her most trusted ones. “I was hypnotized, I was betrayed” she finally said and then slept off as tears rolled down her cheeks.


……………….

It was on a Thursday, two days before the states election, Kimberly attended a friend’s birthday party without letting any of her family members know where she went. Lots of rich kids were there. Kim having known by many took the lead in every game they played. She always spends so much of her time on gambling and parties, ironically she makes it to the top in class in spite of all. Kimberly had everything she wanted; money, fame and beauty. She was loved by many or maybe she thought so. 

During the party, Kim’s father called her on the phone and she excused herself to take his call outside. One could hear her father scolding her to return home immediately and Kim talking back at him like she wasn’t even speaking to her dad. Few minutes, she hung up and was on her way into the hall when her best friend approached with a cup of whisky. “this is exactly what I need right now” she said and gulped down the whole content at once. They both laughed out and then headed back inside.

Kimberly woke up in her room with a banging headache and also not remembering anything that happened after she entered the hall with her best friend. She unlocked her phone and saw series of missed calls from her friends. She managed to stand up and a had a shower to feel better and from the bathroom she could hear Mr. Idaho’s  voice thundering in the house but she didn’t mind it because she assumed it was his normal noise, as she always calls it. This time, the voice grew louder and angrier. She quickened up and made her way down stairs. 

All she could hear her father say was; after everything I have done for her, she decided to steal my most important documents and dumped it there on social media for everyone to see. At that point Kim,  was confused on who could do such a thing. She was expectant to hear her father say something else but instead, her mother turned to her and said “Kimberly, what have you done?” She froze and was more confused now than she has ever been in her entire life.  “I don’t understand” she managed to utter with shaky voice.

She was sent out by her father in her confused feeling. She lived in guilt of not paying more attention. One or maybe all of her friends did that to her. It all started with the cup of whisky or maybe far before that.  


…………………

She has forgiven them all or maybe still trying to forgive but she knew she had to forgive herself first and it’s time to go home as she has found her personal peace which is forgiveness and most importantly, forgiveness of oneself.


 

Dear diary,

  We have to forgive ourselves no matter how much mistakes we’ve done or bad decisions we have made. It’s hard I know,but we are only hurting ourselves the more and making even more bad decisions. I learn to forgive myself at all means, you should as well try that, it’s a good therapy.

Comments

  1. Yes, I can relate with this totally I was in this type of situation as of last month. But thank God I'm better now, after reading this I feel so so much relieved. Thanks🤗

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